How to Lead When Tensions Run High at Work

Tensions can run high in the workplace for any number of reasons: misaligned values, political differences, emotional and mental burnout, situational pressure, interpersonal conflicts and stress outside of work, and more. How this tension manifests can be subtle or blatant, from sharp looks, whispered conversations, or an employee becoming unusually withdrawn to tense meetings and outright statements like, “I can’t work with this person anymore.” 

Whether it’s said outright or not, tension in the team creates friction and emotional weight that everyone can feel, and it can affect how they show up and function together.

As a leader, you’re expected to step in and keep the team aligned and progressing. But how?

4 Steps To Leading Your Team Through Internal Tension

1. Start with clarity about your role.

You may sometimes play the role of mediator, and your team will likely look to you for clarity on shared values. But you're not a therapist, nor the sole arbiter of who's right or wrong.  You’re the one responsible for creating the conditions where your team can function well, together and independently—and addressing anything that gets in the way of that.

Some tensions may even reflect deeper issues of equity or identity. As a leader, you don’t have to have all the answers—but you do need to guide the team toward clarity, trust, and more effective ways of working together. That’s what real leadership looks like.

Try stating: “My role here is to make sure we have a team environment where people feel safe, respected, and able to do their work. If something is making that harder, we need to name it and figure out how to move forward together.”

2. Don’t always default to neutrality.

Trying to stay neutral might seem like the safest move—but sometimes, it sends the wrong message. If someone’s behavior is exclusionary, hostile, or crossing lines of respect and safety, neutrality can look like permission. You don’t have to engage in debate, but you do need to act. Keep conversations focused on behavior and how to move forward.

Try this frame: “This isn’t about who’s right—it’s about stopping behavior that’s disrupting how we work as a team. That kind of conduct isn’t acceptable.” 

3. Have a structure for group conversations.

If the tension is affecting group dynamics or morale, don’t leave the conversation open-ended. Use a clear structure that lowers the temperature and makes space for honesty without spiraling.

Try this framework for team discussions that might get tense or confrontational:

• Pre-frame: “We’re not here to debate, assign blame, or determine who’s right or wrong. We’re here to understand what’s impacting our team so we can keep working well together.”

• Establish ground rules: Show respect. No cruelty, attacks, or lashing out. Step out for 30 seconds if you need to.

• Prompt: “What do you need to feel seen and supported right now? What needs to change to help us move forward?”

• Follow-up: Don’t expect closure in one sitting. Follow up in a 1-on-1 setting with anyone involved in a sustained conflict. You’re not forcing agreement—you’re creating clarity and accountability.

It’s important to note that this approach may not work for everyone, or every conflict. Structure helps keep things grounded, but make sure there’s space for real emotion. Not everyone will feel equally safe or comfortable speaking, and that’s something to navigate with care.

4. Address the issue and don’t let things fester

It’s easy to say that everyone’s entitled to their own opinion and that work leadership shouldn’t get involved—but the reality is that if someone’s behavior or attitude is affecting working relationships, performance, or morale, it’s absolutely your responsibility to get involved. If you notice rising tensions or new hostility, don’t let it lie. Address it.

Try opening a discussion: “I know we’ve had some tension with [xyz topic], and I’ve noticed it manifesting in some of our behaviors and interactions lately. What can we do to clear the air and find a way to move forward with more respect for one another?”

REMEMBER: Your job isn’t to make everyone like one another or think the same. It’s to help them learn to trust and respect one another so they can work and move forward together.

Leading an aligned, effective team that’s built on relationships driven by mutual trust and accountability isn’t easy, but it’s necessary. When done well, it doesn’t just defuse tension—it builds long-term cohesive endurance for your team and your organization.

Let’s talk about what conflict de-escalation could look like in your team and how to build team strength for whatever’s coming next. Book a free session now.